It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
