Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize