The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
