Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
