i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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