Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
