got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
