For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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