If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
