just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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