at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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