I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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