Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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