I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
