dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
