But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
