Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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