i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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