meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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