My friends, they love my intelligence
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
