So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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