Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
