too bad you live with your parents still
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
