Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
