I'd wear matching sweaters with you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
