I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
