jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
