Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
