i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
