just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just forgot I was standing up.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
