Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
