While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
