So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
