okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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