About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
