Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
