And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
