I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
