WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm too high and old for this...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize