one two three fourrrrnication!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize