Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
