oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish you could order shots online.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
