I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
3pm strippers are depressing
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
