It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Semen is not good for contacts.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
