I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
