You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It was confusing and full of hummus
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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