Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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