just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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