you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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