You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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