Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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