DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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