Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
