Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
