Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
this boner is exhausting
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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