i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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