is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
