do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
