Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
