Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
