maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize